Ascension

So, we have this very important person who affected our history a great deal–Jesus Christ who, by all accounts, was indeed a superstar.

He did this thing called Ascension. There’s a prayer that goes “On the third he rose from the dead and ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father…” I’m not the best of Catholics so don’t ask me what Ascension is because I’ll probably give you a take on it that is nice and simple but probably contradicts the Church’s six ways to Sunday.

Today happens to be Wednesday. Professional rosary prayers know that today is the day for the Glorious Mysteries, I prefer to call them the traveling mysteries, because that way I can remember what they are better. This bit of Catholicism I do know! So take that whomever doubts my knowledge of Catholicism (mainly me)! The rosary is that long string of beads that Catholics have (other religions may have long strings of beads that they pray on too, I think Buddhists do, but don’t quote me on it).

The first part of the rosary is a cross or a crucifix (the difference is that Jesus is on the cross with the crucifix)–you pray the Apostles Creed on that one (I have to take out my cheat sheet because I don’t know this prayer completely). Directly after the cross or crucifix is a bead, where you pray the Our Father, the next three beads you pray the Hail Mary, then there is a blank space where you pray a Glory Be and the Fatima prayer. Then the decade (a set of ten strings of prayers) starts. On the first bead an Our Father, ten Hail Marys, the blank space is the Glory Be and the Fatima prayer, and so on for five decades.

With each Our Father you announce the mystery you are praying. Each day has a different mystery. Sunday and Wednesday are the Glorious Mysteries which talk about Jesus’ resurrection and the Blessed Mother’s coronation as Queen of Heaven; Monday and Saturday are Joyful mysteries they refer to the life of Jesus; Friday and Tuesday are reserved for the Sorrowful mysteries, which are self-explanatory, and Thursday is the Luminous aka Mysteries of Light which talks about Jesus’ ministry. Tired of the explanation–I know I am.

I call the Glorious Mysteries the traveling mysteries because people are going up to Heaven or coming down from Heaven. Jesus goes up, the Holy Spirit comes down, the Blessed Mother goes up, Jesus is resurrected and wakes up–up and down, up and down. Perhaps blasphemous, but it’s how I remember.

Today Jesus Ascended into Heaven–again.

Novices in our order wear a crucifix on a wooden cross with a cord. The wood is to represent humility. My crucifix fell in the middle of the night and Jesus fell off. I guess the glue in Jerusalem, where the cross was bought on a trip to the Holy Land, is not very good.

The funny thing is, this is not the first time it’s happened.

The first time Jesus fell off the crucifix was on Ascension Thursday. Ironically the crucifix on the single decade Irish penal rosary I carry with me at all times also fell off that same Ascension Thursday.

Jesus must be a big fan of ascension.