God Must Trust Me A Lot

As you may have noticed it’s been a while since my last posting–25 days to be precise. That was certainly not by choice. 

My time in St. Louis has been wonderful; everyone has been so kind to me, adopting me into their own communities and sharing their way of prayer, spirituality, charism, wit, charm, self. I do not think I could have asked God for a greater group of women and men to wade through the novitiate experience than the ones He has graced me with already.

Today (on Thanksgiving of all days) I return to Owensboro, to my own community. If ever you want to appreciate the place you come from, leave it unexpectedly for a month.

Being away from your own community is difficult, being away from your own community when a member of it becomes ill is even more difficult.

I arrived Friday, November 1. By Wednesday, November 6 my superior had been diagnosed with advanced stage ovarian cancer and would be undergoing two surgeries at once that Sunday. There was nothing more I could have done there except clean the house and do the yard work; the most I could do here is pray and be a good student for her.

The advantage to being in St. Louis is that I could get out all my crying before I go back so I can be strong for my community, which is precisely what I have been doing.

In times of distress people will ask God why He made something so seemingly terrible happen to someone so good. To me, when God puts these terrible things in front of us it means that He trusts us. God trusts us so much that He is willing to put such large challenges on our shoulders. It isn’t about some sort of punishment from a loving God to a faithful child, it’s about a great deal of trust from a loving God to a faithful child.

When we are given these horrible things in our lives what do we usually do? We pray. Our faith increases. This is how much God trusts us. God trusts us enough to know that we will stand by Him no matter what illness, natural disaster, or 60-foot dinosaur may stomp down the street. 

I’m thankful to return to my community and I’m thankful for God’s trust. I pray He gives me the grace to handle His trust in the manner it deserves.